Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Something bigger

You know that feeling when everything you need to do starts weighing on you, squeezing your heart and gnawing at your guts? And you don't know how you'll ever meet all those expectations? I call this feeling hyperinternilating, which is a mash-up of "internally hyperventilating." Which is what it feels like.

This morning I woke up hyperinternilating. An ugly mound of things loomed over me like a tsunami and I cowered in its shadow, certain it would crash down on me at any moment and I would drown.

The big blob was made up of a variety of things, including but not limited to: things I thought I needed to get done, conflict in my own spirit over choices I'd made, anxiety over external circumstances, a handful of relationship difficulties, and just parenting in general. Also some (a lot of) self-doubt, four impending deadlines, and a large, painful sore on my forehead caused by I-shudder-to-think-what-kind-of-creature biting me during the night. It was a big blob.

Luckily, I discovered the antidote to hyperinternilating several years ago and was able to administer it right away. Actually, I had to administer it several times throughout the day in large doses. For me, the only antidote to this uncomfortable condition is prayer.

Why does prayer help me when I'm hyperinternilating? It's all about size. The only thing BIGGER than the tsunami I thought would drown me is God. And prayer helps me remember the BIGGER picture, which apparently is not all about me. It's about something else. Something BIGGER.

So the next time you find yourself hyperinternilating, try some prayer. It's free, you can't overdose, and it works every time.

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