Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Looking back

Today we completed the (sort of) final step in our daughter's adoption: the Montana state "re"-adoption and legal name change. The hearing went off without a hitch this afternoon and we hurried home for naptime.

At home afterwards, I pondered life before Little Miss Sassy Pants came along. Most of the time it seems like she's always been here. Can't imagine life without her you know. But I found myself thinking back to when having only two children seemed like more than I could ever survive. Now we have three and hey, no sweat, right?

But there was a time when I was riding the river of Motherhood in a leaking raft, taking on water fast. I wrote a poem during that time about my family that I thought I'd share today in honor of how far we've come.

An Afternoon At Home
by Katie Powner

the baby wakes up way too soon and she
wonders why he didn't sleep for long
his older brother's jumping on the bed
he never even fell asleep at all

the baby screams with fervor but the clock
says clearly it's not time to nurse him yet
his brother wants a snack
but when she pulls the raisins out
he whines, "what can I have instead?"

she takes her oldest boy to the bathroom
wishing he'd work harder on his aim
then takes the baby to the changing table
and her wish for him ends up being the same

there's spit up on her shoulder, spit up on her shoe
and it's time to try to put dinner together
everything takes longer
with a baby on your hip
she tries to put him down but he won't let her

she ignores the phone when it calls to her
no one would hear her over all the noise
on the verge of tears
she sings a desperate song
hoping it will calm her little boys

finally she gets something in the oven
and gets her oldest to look at a book a while
her baby coos content
as she plops on the couch to nurse
then daddy walks in the door with a big smile

'what a pleasant little life she leads,' he thinks
as he gives hugs and sloppy kisses all around
I guess he'll never know
that ten minutes ago
the whole world was about to topple down

I like to think those kinds of days are behind me but...who am I kidding? The chaos might look different now but it's still chaos. And I love it.

Can anyone relate?