Invisible, part 2

I didn't think I'd ever write a sequel to my original post about the invisible challenges children and parents face when a child struggles with something people can't "see" from the outside, but I've found myself thinking a lot about this subject again lately. Maybe because of Easter. A lot of invisible challenges are exacerbated by the holidays because of over-stimulation, change in diet, and lack of routine.

Or maybe it's just on my mind because I live with it every day. I don't know.

Anyway, I've noticed there seems to be a hierarchy regarding which invisible special needs are given accommodation and which aren't. The ones given consideration are typically the ones that are more tangible and/or easy to understand. Let's use a peanut allergy as an example. This is an invisible challenge (you can't see if from the outside), but just about anyone can understand it: You eat peanuts, you get sick. Don't eat peanuts.

People living with this challenge know it's not nearly that simple of course, but for the most part people who don't have a peanut allergy can still understand the problem and make accommodations. Here's a Kit-Kat bar instead of a Reese's. Here's a ham sandwich instead of PB&J.

But people are less willing to accommodate special needs they don't understand. RAD? APD? ELD? What do those letters mean? Trauma-informed parenting? What's that? Why can't your kid just do what all the other kids are doing? They don't look like there's anything "wrong" with them. They don't look like they have any "problems." And that trauma they experienced happened years ago, why is it still an issue?

Because the brain is a tricky thing, that's why. But that's not the point. The point is, invisible challenges should never be dismissed as imaginary just because they're hard to see and hard to understand.

Invisible friends are imaginary. Invisible special needs are not.

So if your child has an invisible challenge, I want you to know I see you. I see your child. Their struggle, and yours, isn't any less real just because others refuse to acknowledge or accommodate it. It isn't any less real just because it's invisible to most people.

But most importantly, God sees you. Nothing you do for your child goes unnoticed by your Creator. When you are snubbed by friends who don't understand your parenting, He is there. When you have to miss an event or activity because of your child's special needs, He stays behind with you so you are not alone. You are not invisible to Him. Your child's needs are not invisible to Him. Even if you're angry at Him for the situation you find yourself in, even if you blame Him...even if you don't think He exists...He sees you.

"The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." -1 Samuel 16:7b